Homesick!

I haven’t been home in about..well five and a half weeks…I miss it terribly, but I’m getting used to life here. The only thing I dislike about being here is this routine. Four days of the seven, I have the same routine. I’m one to enjoy adventure, but for so long, I haven’t really been finding anything that could make me want to make a left instead of a right; taking the road less traveled is something I haven’t done in a while, just because there is only one road to take….

It sounds deeper than it actually is, but it’s something that makes me want home so much more. Reading week will be the time I will get to roll around from place A to B, and stop at point C, D, and E on the way! Watching movies until daybreak, buying shoes that make my feet go places that don’t exist! But I still have another week of routine to go through before I get to that point of the semester.

Hanan….those pretzels covered in white chocolate were so good….I need more…MORE…MOAR!

Something New!

I want to try something new, something out of the ordinary, something crazy, something nobody else does. I want to make it a hobby, make it a talent, make it my new ‘thing’.

This thing should be fun, and should entertain people, and the same time, entertain me!

This thing should be changeable, creative.  It should be something that someone else can do with me. It should be able to adapt to other people’s likings, but also be in its own free form!

I should be able to take it apart, manipulate each component, change one thing to create a whole new piece of work!

In other words, I need a new hobby!

Week 1, Semester 2

It’s been such a hectic week,  but if you know me well, hectic means adventure, and adventure for me, is life! And life is fun! So hectic = fun!

Coming back here to Hamilton felt like deja vu to me; suitcase all packed, clothes overflowing in it, box of frozen food from family being carried up to my room…yeah! It was pretty nerve-racking…but at the same time, refreshing. I knew what I was going back in to, I was not so happy about it, but I got back to adventure.

Schedule-wise for this semester is more packed. Because of a laid back Tuesday, the 6, 3-unit, 2-hour, twice a week courses leave no white space in between the week of busy greens. Today, I can easily say, was the best example of such ‘adventure’ as I would call it. It went something like…RAELLY long lecture from 8:30 in the morning, a mini-break for when I can eat my missed breakfast, and then, two full three hour labs…BACK-TO-BACK! So essentially….8:30 am - 5:30 pm is how my Mondaays turn out to be…and remember…this is just MONDAY…I still have Wed-Fri to complain about…But I’ll rant those to myself!

But hey, this Monday isn’t even done! Volleyball inter-murals took place this evening! Me, being the lazy non-athletic twig that I am, joining the volleyball team, is a little surprising…even for me! But hey, I had fun :)

Oh and because of the upcoming skits night…I have dance practice up until….now!

*sigh* I think that this semester will be TOO much ‘fun’!

Time to leave the building! Getting kicked out…

I need to find time to blog more!

Paranoia?

I don’t know what it is. I’m bothered by something, something that will happen in the future. I have a bad feeling about my return back home for the break…I may just be paranoid, a little afraid to be exposed to big changes at home…I don’t know.

Could it even be things at home? Could it be with friends that I might have seen for the last time, and won’t get to see again? Will it be that I will see friends who changed so much? What if I want to spend my time out of the house, but be bounded by my parents’ restrictions again? I’m used to being spontaneous, and I have been for the duration that I was away from home…maybe I just need a break.

Oh well, I’m still more anxious to get home than reluctant! One more week, 4 more exams, 5 more late nights, a bunch of things to do before.

—I am still not used to it. This is one of those times where I miss you—

First Finals…

Right off the bat, studying is NOT enough to ensure a decent mark. Sleep is more than essential when getting to the set goal for the finals. Not just memorizing, but understanding, being ready to APPLY the knowledge. That is what finals are for. I did not know that going into the first exam, I realized it at the worst time; during the exam. That’s okay! Learning :)

Just got to be careful when it comes to getting the sleep that I need. Oh, the nights

I’ve spent taking notes, and the days I spent snoozing life away. That’s okay. It’s what makes this time go by quicker. Just 9 or so days until I go back to the place I can legit call home :)

Exam Time

So, it’s the first exam week here at McMaster University, and I am MORE than prepared to get through with everything…but at the same time, I have a feeling that I won’t be doing too well this first time around. Reason being, I have too many motives that are playing with my mind to just get the exams over with, rather than steadily and carefully getting through each 3 hour session; many of these motives relating to getting back home for a good 2ish weeks. But I need to set a straight mind-set. I need to abolish the thought that I will be going home after exams.

But even so, that preparedness that I do have, is a good feeling. I have completed more studying than planned each day, and with that, I am retaining more information than I thought I would. And you know what? That feels good!

I just immensely miss home…but I gotta push through this last stretch.

Nearly A Year Ago…

One night last year, it all happened. I know it was The beginning of December, I know it was behind my back, and I know that I found out about it the wrong way, the stupid way. But I took it.

It shouldn’t bother me, but as time goes on during this month, I can’t stop thinking about it. To see you struggle now is just a reminder of what it was all about.

Back then I was thinking that our relationship would turn around once again, it would get better after the stress and at the holidays. But I was wrong, and you gave up. Maybe you had given up before that night, but you were willing to give me a chance. I didn’t take it. I couldn’t. Knowing what had happened, I would never have taken that chance.

Back then, both of you called me, telling me what happened 3 or 4 days before that call. And to think the reason was just because of what you had told me. It was a lie. The fact that you lied to me, in a sense, twice, just blew it. You know it hurt me. You knew it would hurt once I had found out. It boggles me. Why did you hesitate? Why did it take so long to say the truth? And why did you have to lie about it?

I wasn’t ready to face the world after you did that. But I did. To hear people ask ‘What happened?’, ‘Are you okay?’, was a routine for so long after. Oh and for the record, I was asked that one time before you told me anything about it.

It still hurts today, it does. And if you are reading this, don’t text me and talk about anything that happened. Don’t correct me on events, don’t tell me things that I don’t know, and don’t make things unnecessary. I may have said things that you may have not known here, but I am sure there are things you know that I don’t.

Mmmmm….

I’m talking to one of my favorite people back in Toronto, and eating butter chicken right now, the little bit of home that I have! I miss home. I know others have it worse, but being away for 2 whole months in a row is a little difficult for me…I’m not used to it! I want to wake up one day, pull out my mini keyboard, and play an awesome morning song to wake up everyone in the house~!

But you know what? This is home to, Hamilton! I love the people here, the things to do here, the places to go here, and …. well …. I was gonna say the food…but after eating this butter chicken….no comment =]

But seriously, this place is growing on me. But it will be nice to go back this winter break! Who knows? I’ll, maybe one day, be staying away from home for a longer period of time, and in a place much much farther away!

A wise lady once told me “Distance Makes The Heart Grow Stronger”. I’ll live by that =D

Athleticism

I cannot play sports, especially at this time of night. I mean, they are fun and all, but physically, it’s brutal! I don’t need to be more athletic, I just need to cap off my limits. I have 8:30 classes, and I need to pay attention. No, I’m not falling behind, but I know with the events coming up, I’ll need to dedicate that extra time to it all. Time to push!!!

Alone on Halloween Night…

It was a dark and scary evening, not like other evenings. The clocks all around pointed straight up into the dark sky, stars extinguished, and moon vanished. Lights flickered, screams echoed, and creatures, monsters, baddies, demons, populated the dark and hazy streets of Hamilton, Ontario.

I had seen Halloween nights with full, orange moons, heard sounds of crackling of twigs behind me, and felt fur of a werewolf. But tonight was different. The land that was once civilized and friendly turned chaotic and angry.

I was alone. I had no choice. I looked at my watch. It, as well, pointed toward the blackened sky. It had seemed that the smell surrounding me had burned the chilly, violent air. The ashes, from the invisible flames darkened the already limitless black sky.

I walked. I knew that, I may have been alone in my company, but around me, they watched. Gazed. Moved with my every movement, breathed with my every breath.

I walked forward. Quicker and quicker. But with every step I took, I would hear, feel hundreds of more steps behind me.

The clock pointed farther to the right.

I knew time was not on my side. These footsteps, louder and louder…

The screams, closer and closer…

My courage to turn around had not struck me. Not yet.

My head looked down, but my mind imagined every angle. To my left, a shadow under a streetlight, but no man to create that shadow. To my right, a hook, hanging on a broken window of a crashed car. Behind me, a mob. Angry? No. Hungry, yes. The croaks and groans that seemed to be coming from arm’s length behind me grew louder.

My mind played one last trick on me. I had not looked forward the entire journey. But my mind has.

In my mind, so saw a figure. A man, under a light…but no shadow. A man, with one hand, but the other…gone. A man whose hunger was unquestionably great, and ready to devour.

My mind was scared. I wasn’t.

I headed straight forward, continuing to look down and my feet making haste. I kept going. And I kept going.

The air rushed around me, as if splitting away to let me through, and I could hear it close behind me, as if it were blocking the fowl beasts that had continued to mimic my steps.

I made it to the building where I live, and rushed towards the open elevator. I rushed to get through, the doors slowly shutting my escape.

I run.

I lunge forward to enter the elevator and I make it. The doors continued to close, and I turned around and looked up…….

-FIN-

Haha! Open ending!

TROLOLOLOLOL 

Before bed tonight, I’m thinking about how university has been for me.

It seems too easy! Is that a good thing? A bad thing? I’m getting about 90+ in most of my courses, but…it’s too easy … I think I’ll put more effort, just so I can say that uni is “hard”

Nah! I’m loving uni!

Life

Is just one big adventure!

Best of Both Worlds!

Life is an awesome adventure that I can’t not be a part of! As much as I need to re-learn to say no to things that I know I’ll enjoy, saying yes was one of the best things that I have learned to do.

When you are given a choice between ‘Yes’ and ‘No’, two alternate, but parallel time-lines are created. In one, your life brings you back home, letting you spend your time to either prepare for your next dilemma, regret the fact that you said no, or create alternate. parallel time-lines for others to choose from.

The other time-line is an enjoyable time-line, but a short time-line. If you are partaking in an activity that you indulge yourself in, then the other time-line is next to non-existent. But if this time-line contains habits that go against your values, then you wish that, at times, you could jump through the floor and into the time-line parallel to yours.

But that’s the adventure! I have just begun to get into my new adventure, and re-visiting my old one makes me appreciate everything!

I just cannot wait for what my life has in store for me. I know for a fact that some things, I may not be ready for. But for others, I’m ready to face head-on!

I cannot wait for my future.

Hell Week?

People have been saying that this week is considered to be ‘Hell Week’ due to exams/midterms/tests/assignments/weather/”monthly emotional breakdowns”/sickness/depression in general. In my opinion, from what I see, the main reason of this being ‘Hell Week’ is the fact that people call it ‘Hell Week’.

Think about it! Even though you may have a bunch of more work this week than normal, think of it as getting them out of the way, so that the rest of your life is that much easier! Okay, I wouldn’t think of it as ‘Heavenly Week’ either, but making it seem like a bad week just makes the week worse! So, just because things aren’t going like they were last week, only a few changes must be made. There is no need to remove all of the good things in life. I mean, it’s because we take them out for a week that makes this week ‘Hell Week’.

That’s my rant :] I just hope this week won’t be as bad as people say !

My Contacts Are Itchy…

I’m coming home for the long weekend! I know that many, MANY other people are as well, but I am just that excited to sleep in my own bed for three nights in a row! Just imagine how much sleep I will catch up on…Or maybe I will just stay up for many, many hours, watching TV…Yeah…My bed can wait =]

I think that I will miss Hamilton just a LITTLE bit once I get home…but only because my parents won’t care where I go :] When I get home…They might probably question everything that I do. No. They WILL question everything that I do when I’m home, in addition to telling them what I did when I have been away from home for 3 weeks…I should prepare a speech…Nahh :)

But there are things I must do when I get home:

  • Watch all the TV shows for the week
  • Watch the Leafs win again
  • Study for my midterms NEXT week
  • Shop!!
  • Catch up with friends
  • Catch up with family
  • Eat Turkey drenched in gravy
  • Finish off programming, chemistry and physics labs/lab reports/assignments
  • Sleep
  • Eat
  • Do some laundry
  • Shop some more
  • Learn to cook
  • Play ‘some’ PS3
  • Sleep some more

Yeah, there’s more, but these are the basic things I need to get done.

Anyways, Williams here at ETB is closing up shop early for the Thanksgiving weekend, and quite frankly, so is my brain! Have a wonderful long weekend everyone!

OH and WELCOME BACK MAC MUSICIANS 

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